Carlisle gets sick
by THOSE stories
Summary: Carlisle gets sick and Esme gets scared.
1. Chapter 1

**Please R&R, I need it (: I would love to know what you think. I will hopefully post the next chapter soon in Esme POV…  
Also it's the holidays now and I literally have nothing better to do so I'm open to story suggestions. I like doing sickfics and unusual pairings (but I'll take any suggestions what so ever for any pairings/characters/storylines)  
Another thing; the only reason I've joined the covens together for this one is because I like working with a wide range of relationships as it makes for interesting writing.  
IT WILL GET BETTER AFTER THIS CHAPTER (especially after feedback) (:**

**Tanya POV**

Our two covens had almost become one now, to the point where we lived together, along with Alistair, and we were like one big family. It made the Volturi nervous, but it was fun. It also saved on a lot of travel to see each other. For the moment, we were all staying in Alaska.

"Over slept, did we?" Alistair teased his friend over his shoulder.  
"Shut up," Carlisle mumbled, rubbing his hand over his face and trying to push his hair out of his eyes. He was obviously still half asleep.  
"You have to be the weirdest vampire on the face of the planet for needing them, but you're cute with your glasses on," he told him, smiling and teasing again.  
"Go away," he mumbled again, disappearing into the other room.  
"Glasses, coffee and sleeping, Carlisle. What is the world coming to?" he laughed.  
"Can you not?" We could barely hear him.  
After a few minutes he came back in and sat with us at the table, holding his cup with both hands.  
It was odd, but he really did look twenty three today, maybe even younger. Vulnerable, I realised. The sleeves of his jumper were too long and covered up to the tips of his fingers and the way he held the cup made me think of a little kid. His hair was slightly messy, straighter than usual, and had fallen tucked under his thickly framed glasses and he was still only semi coherent.  
"You alright, my friend?" Alistair nudged him.  
"Yeah, just tired." He tried and failed to stifle a yawn.  
We continued our conversation but Carlisle didn't join in. He stayed quiet and lent his forehead against his hand, looking as though he was on the verge of going back to sleep again.

"Hey love," Esme came in and kissed the top of his head as she passed. He jumped and glanced up at her. She giggled. "I'm going shopping with Bella, Alice and Rose, okay?"  
He nodded but didn't appear to comprehend what she had said. He still hadn't touched his drink.  
"Are you feeling okay?" she asked him gently, standing behind him and hugging him the best she could while he was sitting. She kissed the side of his face.  
"Yes…"  
She frowned. "Are you sure? You don't look okay, sweetie."  
He nodded sleepily and she rubbed her hand up his back.  
"Do you want me to stay with you? I can stay here," she offered.  
"…Go…" his speech was slightly slurred.  
"Carlisle?" she looked worried.  
"I'm okay." He tried to sound more awake then he was.  
She sighed but didn't look convinced. "You will call me if you're not well, won't you honey?"  
"Hmm," he nodded.  
"Carlisle, where's your phone?" She obviously doubted he was okay. She reached into his pocket and put it in his free hand. "Promise me, love."  
He nodded again.  
"Carlisle," she shook his shoulder.  
"Yes I promise," he mumbled.  
"Okay, see you later then." She kissed him again but he didn't seem to notice. "I love you."  
"…Love you too…"  
She squeezed his shoulder before walking away again.  
He lent forward to rest the side of his face on the table. Alistair glanced down at him, then up at Garrett who shrugged. They both looked concerned.  
"Um, Carlisle," Alistair wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer. "What's up with you?"  
"…Tired," he barely got the words out. Alistair frowned and the two of them exchanged eye contact again.  
"Bed maybe?" Garrett suggested, more to Alistair than Carlisle.  
Carlisle shook his head and lent on the table again.

"Carlisle we're going to play baseball tonight, are you-" Emmett stopped talking and did a double take on the whole vulnerable thing. "Never mind, maybe not today…" He wandered off again.  
Carlisle winced at the sound of his voice and took his first sip of coffee. It seemed to be a real struggle for him to force it down.  
"A-Alistair…?" he asked quietly.  
"Yeah?" he cut off mid-speech to Eleazar.  
"I-I-I-" He started to panic.  
"Slow down," he told him.  
"I-I need to be sick but I don't think I can stand up…" His voice shook. I realised that his whole body was trembling.  
Garrett pulled his cup away as I quickly went to find a bucket.  
"I think he's going to fall," Alistair told me as I came back. He was holding Carlisle back against the seat. He looked only just conscious. He took the bucket from me and stuck it in front of his friend. "You can hear me, right?" he asked him.  
Carlisle nodded and tried to say something but the words wouldn't come out. He whimpered and wrapped his arms around his waist.  
"You okay?" I could see Alistair becoming more and more alarmed and I was partly glad Esme wasn't here because her reaction would have been worse.  
"...no…" he squeaked. He looked like he was going to cry.  
"Hey, what's wrong? What are you scared of?" He knelt in front of him.  
I hadn't really seen this side of Alistair before; it was kind of sweet.  
"I-I d-don't w-want t-throw up," he whimpered.  
"Alistair, he has a phobia of being sick," Garrett said quietly.  
"Oh, um, that explains a few things," he smiled, still appearing calm.  
Carlisle tensed and put his hand to his mouth, biting his finger nails.  
Alistair seemed at a loss of what to do now. He looked up at me as if to ask for help.  
"Okay, come here," I took his place. I had a vague recollection of Sasha doing this to Irina, who was more of a drama queen than anything else but it was the same principal.  
I took off his glasses and put them on the table, then pulled back his sleeves a bit. "Garrett, can you call Esme please?" I asked slowly.  
He nodded.  
"No-" Carlisle started but he winced and then gasped, cutting himself off.  
"You're okay." I held the bucket level with the top of his legs. There was a thirty second pause before he was sick the first time.  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled between gasps.  
"It's okay, Carlisle. You're allowed to get sick."  
As soon as the words left my mouth he threw up again. It looked like it hurt an incredible amount and even though he didn't want us to call her I could tell he wanted Esme more than anything.

After a while, his eyes became dark again and he stopped bringing anything up. I forced him to let go of the bucket even though he was reluctant and put it on the floor.  
It was about then that Esme rushed in, hugging him as soon as she got close enough.  
"My poor Carlisle, I knew I shouldn't have left you," she told him, rubbing his back again. "Sweetie, you should have told me you weren't feeling well," she scolded lightly.  
He didn't say anything but lent into her, almost asleep again.  
"Come on, I think you had better go to bed." She helped him to his feet, steadying him when he lost his balance. She took his hand then and led him up the stairs, stopping him from falling every time he stumbled.  
The rest of us sat in shock, unsure what to do next.

**FEED BACK PLEASE!**

**Esme next (:**


	2. Chapter 2

"Lie down, sweetie." I led him to the bed. He sat but didn't go any further. I frowned and he let me hug him. "You have quite a high temperature, love. How long have you been sick?" I asked, putting my hand on his forehead. He lent into me so I kept it there.  
"…A few days maybe…" it seemed to be an effort for him to speak.  
"And how long is that exactly? Two days? Three?" I tried to draw it out of him. He mumbled something about a week. "Carlisle Cullen," I scolded, horrified. "Why didn't you tell me, honey?"  
"Because I didn't want you to get worried." He hugged himself again.  
"Are you in pain?" I crouched in front of him to get him to look at me.  
"Sort of," he admitted, glancing away.  
"How bad?" I kissed him, trying to keep my panic hidden from him but he must have known.  
It was obvious he didn't want to tell me.  
"Carlisle it's okay," I stroked the side of his face with my thumb. "But you have to tell me so I can help you."  
He didn't say anything but lent his head against my shoulder. "Bad enough."  
I smiled. "That's no really an answer, sweetheart."  
"…is so…" he mumbled. I couldn't help but laugh.  
"You need to lie down," I told him gently.  
"You promise you'll stay…?" he asked shyly.  
"Of course I will; I wouldn't leave you by yourself." I kissed him again before moving away.  
"Esme," he whimpered.  
"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere." I touched his hand. He looked like he wanted to cry. My heart melted. "Aww, honey. It's okay love." I sat behind him and pulled him back slowly so he was lying with his head in my lap.  
He looked far from comfortable. He folded his arm across his stomach and bit his lip. "Promise you won't go?" he asked tiredly.  
"I promise, sweetie, now go to sleep."  
After a while he did, but every now and then he would wake up and move slightly, uncomfortable. I played with pieces of his hair, trying to get him to relax. He didn't seem able to. Soon I noticed he was shivering. Within minutes it was somewhat uncontrollable.  
Anxiety knotted it's self in my stomach. I reached across and pulled a blanket over, covering him with it.

After being asleep for a few hours, he stirred suddenly.  
"You okay?" I asked, leaning down to kiss his forehead.  
He nodded and rubbed his hand across his face. I was unconvinced.  
"Are you sure?" I pressed gently.  
"Y-yes." He was very quiet.  
"Carlisle, you can tell me, love." I caught his hand and wound my fingers through his.  
"…feel weird…" he mumbled.  
"What kind of weird?" I smiled, kissing the back of our fingers.  
"…the room won't stop spinning…"  
_Dizzy. Vampires don't get dizzy_, I thought to myself. "You'll be okay," I told him as someone knocked on the door. I glanced over when it opened.  
"You guys okay?" Tanya asked cautiously.  
"I don't know about okay, but surviving," I replied, giving her a tight smile.  
"Can I do anything? I feel helpless…"  
"I don't know. Me too. I have no idea what to do."  
She returned the smile before closing the door again.  
I noticed that it was starting to get dark outside. "Honey, do you want to get in bed? It might be more comfortable and it's almost bed time."  
"Okay," he agreed reluctantly, slowly sitting up. I pulled back the covers and helped him up.  
"Do you want to get changed?"  
He shook his head and practically collapsed into bed. Within minutes he was asleep again, exhausted.  
I quickly got changed and got in beside him, trying to squash down my nervous feelings; Carlisle had never been sick like this before.

I glanced at the clock. 1:32am. I realised it was Carlisle's sudden movement had woken me up.  
"Okay, sweetie?" I asked, reaching across to take his hand. His skin was boiling hot. "Carlisle! Your temperature is way too high." I couldn't stop myself from panicking. I couldn't help but feeling this was dangerous.  
"I-I'm c-cold E-Esme," he stuttered, trying to stop his teeth from chattering.  
"No, love, you have a fever. You're incredibly warm." I slid over to him and wrapped my arms around him, trying to cool him down. I pulled the blankets off as well. He whimpered. "What's that matter?" I asked softly.  
"I'mgoingtobesick," he choked out.  
"Now?" I asked stupidly.  
"N-now," he mumbled back, sitting as still as he could with his hand over his mouth. I raced away to find the bucket, returning to hand it to him just in time.  
"Sit up honey, I don't want you choking." I could feel my eyes wide with fear. He did as I had asked and was sick again immediately afterwards. He rested his forehead against the side of the bucket, supporting it on the tops of his legs. I steadied both it and him when I realised how serve his shaking had become. He threw up a few more times, looking closer to tears ever time it happened. "It's okay." I kissed the top of his head. He stifled a sob. "Aw Carlisle, it's okay." Something else dawned on me, making me want to start shaking myself. "Hey, when was the last time you went hunting?"  
He held up two fingers, struggling to stop gasping.  
"Two days?"  
"Weeks," he choked.  
I took a deep breath, trying and failing to appear calm. "Then how are you still being sick? It shouldn't have happened once."  
He shrugged, telling me he didn't know.  
"Carlisle, you need to go a doctor. We have to go- um um um to the Volturi maybe? They have a medical centre. Um, plane tickets- we have to get plane tickets to Italy- I need to-" I could feel the tears starting and tried to hold them back.  
"E-Esme, it's okay." He reached over and squeezed my hand. "I-I'll be okay-"  
"But you're not okay!" I cried, interrupting him.  
"M-maybe not, b-but it won't kill me. I-it just sucks, that's all." I think he was going to say more but he was sick again.  
"See? You're not okay, Carlisle! You need to see a doctor!" I moved over so I could hug him tightly, like it might protect him somehow. "You so warm," I whimpered.  
"It's okay, love," he told me calmly. I knew it all just an act and that he was terrified and felt horrible but it was stupidly comforting and I couldn't help believing him. He lent forward over the bucket again, gagging but not bringing anything up.  
"Give me this," I tried to pull it away from him.  
"Um, i-I don't think t-that's a good idea," he mumbled.  
"Carlisle, I highly doubt that you can actually _be_ sick anymore," I sighed, wiping my face dry. He looked unconvinced and a bit nervous but let it go. "Come here, sweetie." I lay down again and gently pulled him back so he was lying next to me. I wrapped my arms around him and he lent his head on my shoulder, cuddling into my side. I smiled to myself. "I like it when you're cuddly like this," I told him, kissing the top of his head.  
"I love that when we tried to eat cereal you eat it with a fork because you don't like the taste of milk," he mumbled tiredly. I could tell he was smiling.  
"Turns out cereal it disgusting too. Why do you keep bringing that up, anyway?" I giggled. He slid his arm underneath me, pulling himself closer to me.  
"Because I think it's cute, that's why." His voice was very quiet and I strained to hear him. I realised it was because he was tired.  
"Go to sleep. I love you, Carlisle."  
"I love you too."  
I didn't have to ask twice.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Please remember to review (: it makes me write faster (seriously it really does) and also I like hearing your ideas. You can PM for a sickfic request if you have one that you really want done; it doesn't matter what coupling or whether you have a storyline or not. (I will do them but my Bella/Edward ones are never as good). Will do slash but NEVER sex scenes.**

**Someone suggested a Garrett and Kate version of this (not exactly the same but a sickfic), what do you guys think? I really love those two (: **

**At my guests request, the rest will be done in Esme's POV (:**

It had been three days and Carlisle was still incredibly unwell but he still wouldn't let me take him to the doctors.

"Esme look at this," he called to me, jumping down the stairs too quickly. He stumbled and both Eleazar and Garrett moved to grab him before he fell but he righted himself.  
"Sweetie, you should be resting. What are you doing up?" I scolded.  
"I want to show you something." He was smiling and his dark eyes were alive with excitement. He lost his balance again as he got closer to me so I hugged him, holding him upright. I wanted to cry when I felt who light he was.  
"You're still so warm," I whispered to him, biting back tears. The past few days he seemed to be getting worse, but the only way I could tell he was sick now was that he was paler than usual and I could feel heat through his long sleeves.  
"That doesn't matter. Watch this." He darted out onto the deck. He moved so quickly I winced, expecting him to fall but he didn't.  
"What, love? Go back upstairs," I pleaded; he was going to hurt himself.  
"I'm okay, Esme," he told me, smiling.  
"He's not sparkling," Garrett murmured. He looked confused.  
I realised he was right. "Carlisle…" I asked cautiously. "What's going on…?"  
"I don't know," he replied, studying his hand again. He looked puzzled as well, but happy.  
The three of us stared at him for a while longer until he shrugged, uncomfortable being the centre of attention.

"Should you not be in bed?" Tanya asked him, coming up onto the deck from the lawn.  
I waited to see if she would notice.  
"I'm bored," he admitted with a laugh. I couldn't help but smile; this was the happiest I had seen him since he got sick, almost himself again. It made everything seem less scary.  
"You're sick, that's where you're supposed to be," she argued light-heartedly.  
"I'm also not supposed to be sick," he pointed out, stepping out of the sunlight. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. She didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.

He came back inside and wrapped his arms around me. "See? I'm fine."  
"Carlisle, yesterday you were so dizzy you couldn't walk, remember?" I reminded him.  
"No, I don't," he laughed and then flinched like it hurt.  
"You need to go to the Volturi about this, honey. It's not _normal_."  
"Nothing about me is normal though."  
I smiled and kissed him. "I know, that's why I love you, but this is different. This is dangerous."  
His smile faltered a little bit.  
"What?" I asked.  
"N-nothing, just- nothing." It returned and he pulled me closer to him, I think so I couldn't see his expression. I got the feeling he was hiding something from me.  
"Love?" I pulled back and forced him to look at me.  
His eyes pleaded with me not ask. I knew the next thing that came out of him mouth would be a lie.  
"You know something, don't you." It wasn't a question more of a statement.  
He looked away, starting to say something and then closing his mouth again.  
I sighed and dropped my arms from around his waist, walking away and sitting next to Eleazar on the couch. I hated doing this to him but hated it more that he wouldn't tell me something that I could possible use to help him.  
"Esme…" he started. He looked like I had punched him. I sat on my hands to stop myself from reaching toward him.  
"Carlisle," I answered as coldly as I could muster. I hoped he would give in so I didn't have to keep this up; it was incredibly difficult, especially because he was sick.  
"B-but…" Suddenly he was on the floor. Eleazar moved before I did, pulling my husband into a sitting position in case he was sick. Carlisle mumbled something unintelligible but apparently Carmen's husband understood.  
Garrett looked petrified and I could see him visibly shaking.  
I only realised I was crying when Alistair put my hand on his shoulder, coming up from behind.  
Eleazar was frantic now too.  
"Leave him, don't move him if he doesn't want to be moved," Alistair commanded.  
Eleazar, hyperventilating and pale, stepped back to beside Garrett who looked close to tears himself.  
Alistair sighed. "Esme, calm down. He will be fine. He used to faint a lot when he a new-born. Eleazar, that goes for you too. Garrett, you've seen this before and he was fine so don't you dare cry. I can't deal with two of you."  
"Alistair, I want to get up now," Carlisle told him, attempting to use the same tone his friend was using. He was too quiet to pull it off.  
"Carlisle, you're staying on the floor," he told him, carrying on his speech.  
"If he wants to get up, let him up," Garrett told him. He looked like a little kid trying to stop another child being mean.  
"He will only go straight back down again, won't you my friend?" He looked down at my husband.  
I couldn't stand it any longer; I rushed to him and sat next to him on the floor, wrapping my arms around him, squeezing him tightly.  
"Ow, um, honey that hurts," he told me, biting his lip and trying to loosen my grip.  
I immediately let go of him. "I'm so sorry sweetie!" I cried, sobbing again. I felt so terrible for hurting him, even if it wasn't voluntarily.  
"It's okay, Esme. I should have told you. It's not your fault," he said quietly, kissing my hair. I settled for holding his hand instead. He smiled shakily. "Also, I think you should have married Garrett, with the reaction you just had." He glanced up and I realised Kate was there too, along with Bella and Edward.  
"Why?" I asked, puzzled. At the same time I spoke, Garrett wiped his face self-consciously and I realised he was very close to tears as well and probably would have been crying if he was human.  
"Aww, you're so cute, Garrett," Kate giggled, hugging him. He hid his face in her hair. She rubbed his back.  
"Can I just say," Alistair started. "When Carlisle broke his ankle, it was Garrett that cried. I don't think Carlisle made any noise what so ever."  
"Shut up," Garrett mumbled as we all laughed at his expense.  
"Um, yeah Carlisle did make noise," Tanya interrupted. Carlisle covered his face with his hand. "I'm pretty sure he said the 'f' word rather loudly."  
"Carlisle Cullen," I laughed, hitting his leg lightly. It felt good to laugh, getting rid of some of the tension. "You didn't tell me you broke yourself either, mister."  
"I didn't know you then, love," he chuckled. I could see him starting to get tired again even though we were sitting.  
"You knew the Denalis before I was changed?" I asked, curious. He had never told me that either.  
"No, I just knew Tanya." He glanced up and smiled at her. An unreasonably strong wave of jealousy washed over me and I shuffled closer to him, squeezing his hand tighter.

We stayed sitting on the floor like that and he lent his head on my shoulder. I played with his wedding ring around his finger, worrying about how loose it seemed now. It wasn't fair; my Carlisle was little to begin with.  
After a while Emmett and Jasper came in covered in blood; they were never very tidy hunters.  
Carlisle squirmed. "Can I get up now please?" he asked me, somewhat desperately.  
"Okay sweetie," I let go of him and started to stand to help him up but he bolted the minute I was no longer touching him.

"Are you okay?" I asked frantically.  
"I think so," he mumbled. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his hand resting on his stomach.  
I went to him and kissed him. He sighed and lent into me so I put my arms around him again.  
"Are you feeling sick again?"  
"Mmm."  
"My poor sweetie." I kissed the top of his head and thought for a moment. "Your hair is straighter than it used to be."  
He ran his hand through it self-consciously. "Maybe…"  
"Are you tired? Do you want to go to sleep for a while?" I was hoping he would say yes so I could cuddle him again.  
"Okay, I guess so…" He went to lie down but I stopped him, pulling him so he partly lying on me as we had been the other night. "Don't you have better things to do? Surely you can't be tired," he asked, smiling a little bit.  
"No my love, I want nothing more than to stay with you," I told him, kissing the side of his face.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, my husband was gone and Alice was screaming.

**Please remember to review (: it makes me write faster (seriously it really does) and also I like hearing your ideas. You can PM for a sickfic request if you have one that you really want done; it doesn't matter what coupling or whether you have a storyline or not. (I will do them but my bella/Edward ones are never as good). Will do slash but NEVER sex scenes.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, firstly, sorry that took so long but I had heaps of homework and apparently school is supposed to come first (why?!) and also, all with be revealed in the next chapter (which will take nowhere near that long).**

**Please review and thanks for all the lovely responses I've been getting, they make me so happy (:**

"What happened?!" I asked, rushing downstairs to where the sound had come from. Alice was shaking and crying, hysterical. "Alice what's wrong?!"  
"He's bleeding!" she shrieked.  
"Calm down," I stroked the hair out of her face. "Who's bleeding, sweetheart?"  
She choked on her on sobs. "Carlisle!"  
I almost tripped over my own feet as I ran to the kitchen.

"Carlisle!" I yelped.  
"I'm okay, love, it's just a little cut. It'll be fine." He was holding his hand under the running tap. The water ran red.  
"What happened?!" I hurried to his side. There was blood on the bench, on the floor, Carlisle was covered in it and so was Garrett.  
Kate's husband was shaking almost as much as Alice was. He was frozen to the spot.  
"It's my fault," he told me, almost as though he was pleading although I don't know what for.  
"Garrett, it's okay," Carlisle told him, smiling. He didn't respond. "Breath, Garrett. You're holding your breath."  
"I'm sorry," he cried. His voice shook almost as much as he did.  
"It's not your fault. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time; it was nobody's fault."  
"But I-I-I-"  
"Stop." Even after all our years of being married I was still surprised at how calm my husband was. "I need you to pick the knife up, okay? Before somebody stands on it."  
Garrett nodded and slowly removed it from the ground, placing it on the bench.  
I finally found my voice again. "What did you do?" I asked him, gently pulling his arm out from under the flow so I could see. The gash ran up the side of his hand and about halfway up his forearm. I felt slightly sick and forced myself to swallow.  
He put it back under the water.  
Garrett doubled over and gagged into the rubbish bin.  
"Alistair," Carlisle called out. There was no response. "Dammit. Esme can you help him please?"  
"No- I'm fine," his friend mumbled.  
Carlisle met my eyes for a second then glanced at Garrett. I shook my head; I was not leaving him when he was like this.  
He sighed. "Honey- ugh, fine. Can you please pass me that then?" He gestured to the tea-towel which lay next to the knife. I handed it to him. He started wrapping it around his hand, slowing the bleeding a bit.  
"Sweetie let me do that," I tried to take it from him so he wouldn't have to move it too much.  
"No, it's okay for now."  
I thought he was upset with me until I realised he was just worried about Garrett. He made him sit at the table and used the cloth on the sink to wipe his hands clean. I hadn't realised how much of it Garrett actually had on him. He looked like he was going to be sick.  
"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again.  
"Oh my god! Are you okay?" Alistair was suddenly with us, checking Garrett to try and find the bleeding. "Carlisle what do I do?!"  
This was the most frantic I had ever seen him.  
"Calm down, he's fine. It's not his blood," Carlisle told him evenly.  
Alistair looked at me.  
"It's mine, Alistair," he told him.  
"Then sit down! Jesus Carlisle…"  
He was starting to bleed through the towel.  
"What did you do?" he asked him.  
"It was my fault," Garrett whimpered. "I slipped and-and-and-"  
"It's okay, alright?"  
"No it's not! I cut you and now you're bleeding and vampires DON'T BLEED CARLISLE! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!"  
"It's nothing a few stitches won't fix."  
"But…" he seemed lost as to what to say.  
"But nothing, if you don't get a grip and go and get changed, Kate is going to freak out."  
"Okay," he said in a small voice, getting up.  
"You have to go to a doctor, you can't put stiches in yourself, you need to-" Alistair apparently wasn't done panicking.  
"Oh my god you two are such drama queens," Carlisle grumbled.  
"You cant-"  
"Well then I'll get someone else to do it. It's not a big deal, just, everyone stop freaking out." He must have seen the worry reflected on my face because he smiled at me and laughed. "Seriously, it's not like I'm dying. It's just a cut." He went back to the sink and washed it again.  
Me and Alistair looked at each other.  
"Esme are you any good at sewing?" he chuckled. I think he was teasing, but I wasn't sure.  
"No. NO. I'm not doing that to you. I can't-" I shuddered at the thought of having to hurt him. "I can't do it," I whispered, disappointed in myself.  
"Never mind, love, it doesn't matter."  
"I'm not doing it either," Alistair yelped.  
Carlisle laughed again.  
He rolled his eyes.  
"No, me neither!" Edward yelled from the longue, reading Carlisle's thoughts. "No way."  
"Here, give me your arm," Carmen said, coming in holding some kind of special thread and needle. "Are we doing this with or without pain relief."  
"Without," he told her surely.  
"Um, Carlisle, it's going to hurt like hell," she warned.  
"I know, but if I take it I'll be sick again, so I'd rather not."  
She looked uncertain and bit her lip. "Okay…"  
"I'm not watching this," Alistair mumbled, slithering around the corner.  
"Baby," Carlisle teased. I couldn't help but smiled when he smiled genuinely for what seemed like the first time in forever.  
"You be quiet," his friend quipped.  
"And keep still," Carmen pleaded.

I couldn't look as she did it so I put my arms around him the best I could without getting in the way and watched the floor, willing myself not to cry. I felt him become tense every couple of second which must have been as each stitch was put in.  
"Almost done," she mumbled, concentrating.  
"You did well, sweetie." I reached up to kiss him but he seemed distant. "Hey," I squeezed his hand. "Carlisle? Are you alright?"  
There was a few frightening seconds where he didn't respond and I thought he was going to faint again.  
"Ah, yeah, I'm okay," he smiled but I could see it was fake.  
"All done," Carmen told him, pulling her hands away and going to stand with Eleazar.  
"That made me feel sick and I'm five feet away," her husband mumbled. She elbowed his playfully. The air became tense as we all waited to see what Carlisle would do.  
After a minute or so he snapped out of whatever daze he was in and began wiping the bench clean.  
"Carlisle, no. I'll do that," I told him, worried he would only hurt himself more. He stopped but didn't seem to realise I needed the cloth. "Sweetie, give me this and go sit down, okay?" I carefully unwound his fingers from around it. "Carlisle…?" I reached up and brushed his hair off his face. I was about to ask him if he really was alright because he looked far from it; he was a lot paler than he had been a few moments before and his eyes were unfocused.  
"Where's Alice?" he asked suddenly before I had a chance to open my mouth. I almost laughed at the randomness of the question.  
"I don't know, love. Why?"  
"She was upset. I upset her…" he looked down at his feet.  
"Honey, you didn't upset her, she just got scared, that's all. Don't worry about it, okay?" He didn't respond so I kissed him. "Okay?" I repeated, holding his face in my hands.  
This time he nodded.  
"I'll deal to this, you um, sort him out," Carmen whispered.  
I smiled gratefully and slid my fingers through Carlisle's good hand. "Come here, honey."  
"W-where are we going?" he looked a little bit scared which confused me a lot.  
"Where do you want to go?" I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer so our noses were touching.  
He said something but all I could focus on was how cute his stutter was.  
"What was that?" I asked, straightening the collar of his shirt.  
"Can we go hunting…?" He fidgeted nervously. I frowned.  
"Are you sure you can?"  
"No, not really…"  
I thought for a moment. "How about we get some donated blood from the hospital? That might be easier." As I said it I knew he wouldn't agree.  
He shook his head and looked at the floor.  
I couldn't help but feel a bit proud of him even if it was going to be difficult. "Do you want to try then?" I asked carefully, secretly hoping he would wait another few days. The thought of my Carlisle going too far away from the house frightened me more than it usually did.  
"I don't know," he mumbled, biting his lip. I could see that he was becoming upset but I didn't know what about.  
"You okay?" I rubbed the tops of his arms. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing, I'm just…confused." He wiped his hand across his face and then pulled at the edge of his bandage.  
"About what?" I asked gently, stilling his hands. He slid his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand. He was still too warm. I reached up to put my free hand against his forehead but he pulled back before I could touch him.  
"Everything. I'm cold all the time even though you say I'm too hot, my balance is terrible, whenever someone touches me it hurts and I'm bleeding-" he stopped mid-sentence and glanced up at me. His eyes were wide with either fear or excitement but I could tell which. "Holy shit. I'm bleeding." He sounded shocked, completely blown out of the water by it.  
I almost laughed. "Sweetie, did it really take that long to sink in?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood a bit. It unnerved me to see Carlisle unsure about something; I wasn't used to it. He protected me.  
"Esme, to bleed you need to have a heartbeat to pump the blood out, otherwise nothing would happen."  
I was lost for words as I tried to let that sink in.


	5. Chapter 5

"Your husband had gone mad," Alistair mumbled as he walked past me in the hallway.  
"Where is he?" I asked frantically.  
"In the library." He thought for a moment. "And not literally mad by the way, just I-haven't-been-to-sleep-in-a-while mad."  
I pushed past him and quickly walked down the hallway.  
"Carlisle what's wrong?!" I yelped from the doorway.  
He didn't so much as look up. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor surrounded by a great number of open books and pieces of paper.  
Eleazar was sitting on the table with Renesmee on his lap, both of them watching the chaos.  
"It doesn't make sense though, why now after so many years?" he got up in a fluid motion and turned to face Eleazar who shrugged.  
"I have no idea," he muttered, pulling the child loser to him.  
"Is it even possible? How would we test it?"  
"I don't know!" Eleazar laughed. "Stop asking me! I'm stupid!"  
"You're not stupid, Eleazar, you- Hey look." He picked up a few of the bits of paper and aligned them in some sort of order.  
"What?" both of us asked at the same time.  
He stared down at it in what seemed to be disbelief, lost for words.  
_"What?"_ Eleazar asked again.  
Carlisle ignored him and went to Renesmee. "Do I feel warm to you?" he asked, touching her hands.  
"Yes," she giggled.  
He smiled.  
"I think we might be the same, Renesmee," he chuckled.  
"So what? You're a human now?" Garrett asked, pushing into the room. "That's ridiculous, right? It can't actually happen?" He looked afraid.  
"I don't know…Not human I don't think, but partly. Kind of like the little one." He picked her up and she squealed in delight, hugging him.  
"How human then? Like, are you more immortal, or more human?" Eleazar asked cautiously.  
He shrugged. "Well, I have a heartbeat, I think. And I'm warm. But I don't know… I guess we'll have to figure that out. Hunting might be interesting."  
The thought of it made me nervous.  
As he said it I realised there were to heart beats in the room, one a lot fainter than the other.  
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him. I could barely hear myself.  
"I think so," he smiled, pulling me closer. He gently pressed his lips against mine.  
"Somebody think of the children! Renesmee, close your eyes!" Eleazar laughed.  
Carlisle threw a ball of paper at him and then kissed me again. "I love you," he whispered.  
"We're leaving!" his friend announced, pulling Bella's daughter out of the room. Garrett started laughing but went after them.  
"I love you too," I whispered back, giggling. "I can feel your heartbeat."  
He laughed self-consciously and pulled back a bit.  
I stepped closer again. "It's not a bad thing, love. I like it."  
I could tell he was still nervous about it.  
"I guess that kind of explains why you don't sparkle anymore," I tried to distract him. "And why I cant squeeze you anymore without it hurting."  
"I guess so," he mumbled leaning against me. I guessed the excitement was wearing off. "And why I'm so damn clumsy."  
I chuckled. "That's just cute. Sweetie, how long has it been since you last slept?" I pushed his hair off his face and he refused to look at me.  
"…two days…" he mumbled guiltily.  
I tried to cover my shock. "I think you need to go to bed then." I rubbed the tops of his arms. "You're going to make yourself unwell."  
He nodded and slowly made his way down the hallway, taking as much time to get there as he could, not really wanting to go. I laughed and followed him.  
"Procrastinating won't help you, honey," I teased.  
"I know," he mumbled but didn't move any faster.  
"Come," I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom, falling back onto the bed and pulling him on top of me. He kissed me, more passionately than last time. I hugged him tighter. He broke the kiss, starting to laugh. "What?" I giggled.  
He squirmed. "I cant- we cant-…" he tried to pull away from me.  
"You think I'm going to hurt you?" I asked softly, holding him there and stroking the side of his face with my thumb.  
"No…I'm scared I'm going to throw up on you…" He burst out laughing again.  
"Are you still feeling sick?" I made him sit up, forcing him onto the edge of the bed. I knelt in front of him, putting my hand against his forehead.  
"No, Esme, I'm okay," he caught a piece of hair and tucked it behind my ear. "Just being cautious." He smiled shyly.  
He lay back and wrapped his arms around my waist so I was lying next to him with my head on his stomach.  
"Do you remember our first date?" he asked quietly, running his fingers though my hair.  
"Of course I do," I giggled. "I remember how much you stuttered and how cute it was. And I remember how polite you were and how much your hand shook when I held it. I remember the bit where you said 'I love you' and the kiss that came after it, and the locket you gave me…" I trailed off as I thought about it; our house had been robbed a few years before we moved in with the Denalis and that was one of the things that had been stolen. I held back tears.  
"Hey, come here." He smiled and kissed the side of my face, shifting to face me. He reached into his pocket. "Hold out your hand."  
It was the same line he used when he had given me the locket.  
I did as he asked but didn't take my eyes off his. I felt something cold – metal – drop softly into my hand.  
I didn't dare glance down at it.  
He kissed me lightly and closed my fingers over top of it. I ran my fingers over top of it.  
"Carlisle…where did you…" My eyes stung with tears I couldn't cry.  
"It's a secret," he whispered, running his hand down my back.  
With shaking hands I took the key off from around my neck, opening the small heart.  
The photo was still there; a small black and white picture that Edward had taken of the two of us when we weren't paying attention.  
I smiled and laughed but it came out more of a sob. "I can't believe you found it…"  
He didn't say anything but wove his fingers through mine.  
"Everything will okay, Esme, you know that right? I promise."  
"Okay," I answered, too willing to believe him. I badly wanted it to be true.


	6. Chapter 6

"Can we try hunting today?" Carlisle asked me. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, fidgeting with either excitement or nervousness.  
Anxiety pulsed through me but I knew I couldn't keep him from doing it much longer. His eyes were so dark they were almost black, so dark you couldn't tell their colour. "Okay honey; just give me a minute, okay?"  
He nodded eagerly. "Okay."

Suddenly he had his arms around me, off the bed and in front of me.  
I giggled and hugged him back. "And what has gotten into you?" I chuckled, squeezing him gently.  
He shrugged and kissed me, giggling as well.  
"Five minutes," I told him.  
He nodded again and let go, disappearing down the stairs.  
It made me so unbelievably happy to see him back to his normal self again that I couldn't stop smiling.

"Ready?" I asked him once we were on the edge of the forest.  
"Sort of," he smiled nervously, his heart beating faster than normal.  
"You'll be okay, sweetie. I won't let anything happen to you." I slid my fingers through his.  
"I'm not going to be able to hide when I'm scared now, am I," he chuckled shyly.  
"Nope. You have no chance," I laughed.  
"Great," he said sarcastically, taking off and running ahead of me into the trees.  
I briefly worried that he wouldn't be able move quick enough to catch anything, but within seconds, he had a deer pinned. He went to bite it but stopped.  
"What?" I asked.  
"I can't," he mumbled.  
"Can't what?"  
He responded by sinking his teeth into it's neck. Only moments later he pulled back, coughing. He put his hand over his mouth.  
I knelt beside him. "What's wrong? Do you still feel sick?"  
The deer struggled and I realised it was still alive. He let go of it and it raced off.  
"Carlisle?"  
He moved to sit with his arms folded on top of his knees, his head resting on them.  
"Why'd you let him go?" I asked, moving to hug him again, to bring him what little comfort I was able to offer.  
"Just go hunting, Esme, I'm going home," he told me, not moving. His voice shook.  
"You haven't eaten in a long time, love, you must be thirsty."  
"…I can't do it though," he whimpered, bursting into tears.  
"Shh, it's okay, honey. What brought all this on?" I rubbed his back and he cuddled into me.  
"I can't kill that deer…It's never done anything to me and now I'm going to kill it and-" He cut himself off and wiped his face dry.  
I thought for a moment. There was no way around it, he was going to have to hunt an animal eventually and I assumed the sooner he got it over with the less of a problem it would be for him.  
"Come on, stand up," I gently pulled him to his feet.  
"No I-"  
"Carlisle, I'm not letting you starve yourself for the sake of a deer, okay?"  
He nodded meekly.  
I led him after it again.

It took a lot longer to catch it than it did last time, mostly, I think, due to my husband's lack of enthusiasm.  
"Better?" I asked once he had drained it.  
"No," he squeaked, pushing away from me and running off.  
"Carlisle!" I called after him, trying to catch up. It was no use; he was much faster than me.

I returned the house teary eyed and alone.  
"What happened?" Tanya asked carefully, hugging me.  
"He ran away," I whimpered.  
"He'll be back," she assured me.  
"Yeah, but he was upset…"  
"He will be fine, Esme, with everything that's happened he's probably just a bit overwhelmed; it's a lot for him to have to take in."  
I nodded and headed up the stairs, not really wanting to talk to anyone but Carlisle.

It was dark outside, a few hours past midnight. Snow was falling lightly  
"I-I'm s-sorry," Carlisle whispered from the doorway.  
"Sweetie where have you- oh my god, Carlisle, your eyes are blue," I gasped, absolutely fascinated by the colour of them.  
He nodded shakily. "I-I'm s-sorry E-Esme," he repeated.  
"Don't be sorry, I understand, honey. Come here," I gestured for him to come and sit next to me on the bed so we could watch the weather.  
He coughed and did as I had asked. His arm brushed against me as he sat.  
"You're freezing!" I cried, stupidly not thinking that he had been _outside_ a few minutes ago. His temperature was completely gone to the point where he was cold, even for a vampire. His was shivering violently. I wrapped my arms around him but it didn't help much. Pulling him to his feet I took him into the bathroom and turned on the shower, making it as warm as I could but being careful to keep it so it wouldn't burn him.  
"W-what a-are y-you d-doing?" he asked quietly, almost unable to speak because he was shaking so much.  
"Trying to get you warm, love." I started undressing him.  
"C-can I-I j-just g-go t-to b-bed?" he whimpered.  
"Right after this, okay?"  
He nodded weakly.

When he came back into our room he was shivering less but just looked completely drained. Immediately he came and sat next to me, cuddling into my side without saying anything.  
"My poor Carlisle," I murmured, pushing his hair out of his eyes.  
"…n-not that b-bad," he mumbled sleepily.  
"You're a bad liar," I told him, kissing the end of his nose.  
He smiled slightly. After a moment he shifted uncomfortably and I caught myself staring.  
"Sorry, love, but you are completely adorable," I smiled and ran my hand down the side of his face, still caught on the colour.  
He blushed and looked away.  
I giggled. "Do you still want to go to bed?"  
He gave me a measured look, waited until I rolled my eyes and then nodded.  
I got under the covers next to him so I could put my arms around him again.  
"Hey, you guys okay?" Alistair asked, appearing in the doorway.  
Carlisle shot away from me.  
Alistair snorted. "Don't worry, I think you two are cute," he chuckled. "But are you okay?"  
"Yes," Carlisle whispered, heat rushing into his cheeks again.  
He giggled. "God you're cute sometimes," he mumbled, walking away.  
"Come back here," I told him, reaching for him. Once he was back in my arms, I relaxed. "I love you, sweetie." I kissed the side of his face but he was already asleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

Within the next few days I practically had my normal Carlisle back, aside from him wanting to sleep a bit more due to having a cold. He still was kind of upset about the idea of hunting but I figured we would cross that bridge when we came to it. For now I was just happy that he was happy.

"Hey Esme?" Carlisle called to me as I walked across the snow.  
"What?" I turned around to face him. "You need to go back inside before you get sick again."  
"You're not my mother," he teased, jumping off the deck and disrupting the perfectly smooth white surface that was apparently our lawn.  
I rolled my eyes are turned away again, only to be hit in the back with a ball of snow. I tried to stifle a giggled but couldn't stop the smile. "You want to play dirty, do you Carlisle?" I laughed.  
"Um…I'm not really sure what you mean by that seeming as the snow is actually quite clean looking to me and if that's a sexual reference you are way over my head so-"  
I stopped his nervous rambling by throwing one back at him, marvelling at how innocent he actually was. It hit him in the legs.  
"That was a bad shot," he accused, smiling widely.  
I picked up another one and tossed it. He retorted by returning fire.  
In the end it became pretty obvious that the only time I could hit him was when he pitied me and stepped into them.  
I ran toward him and tackled him into the snow, landing on top of him. As I started to get up again he wound his arms around my waist, holding me closer to him.  
"Thank you," he whispered softly. I could feel his breath against my neck.  
"For what?" I asked, pushing his hair off his face.  
"For everything." He reached up and kissed me. He pulled back too soon so I kissed him again, not quite as gently as he had to me.  
Suddenly Garrett was beside us, sitting cross-legged. He tapped me on the back.  
"Oh god, here we go," Carlisle mumbled, trying not to smile.  
"Sorry to interrupt you two when you are being all romantic and everything, but if somebody doesn't go back inside like a good boy than somebody is going to get sick."  
"I think he's right, honey," I chuckled. "You're getting cold." I reluctantly got up.  
"Ugh." He remained lying in the snow for a few seconds without moving.  
I marvelled at how angelic he looked surrounded by the perfect backdrop and covered in snowflakes. "Come on, sweetie," I encouraged, knowing that I couldn't look at him much longer without wanting to kiss him to the point it was irresistible.  
He jumped to his feet in one fluid movement and slipped his hand into mine.  
Garrett pointed at the door, looking sternly at Carlisle.  
Kate, who was on the deck, burst out laughing. "Honey, you would make a great mother."  
He rolled his eyes and turned to face her, leaving us to ourselves.  
Carlisle's lips met mine again. I hadn't realised he was in front of me but now he was _right_ in front of me.  
"We have to go inside," I whispered to him, knotting my fingers behind his neck.  
"Or maybe you could just keep me warm," he whispered back, smiling.  
"I think that could work," I giggled, pushing my tongue between his lips.  
In response he ran his hands down my back, pulling me closer to him even though there was no space between us.  
"Do you think they'd miss us if we just, I don't know, ran away for an hour?" he asked. I could tell he was teasing but there was nothing I wanted more.  
"Not if we moved quickly," I told him, sort of hoping we could. I ran my hand down his face and he caught it and held it there.  
"Seriously, you two, I'm going to puke," Edward smirked at us.  
"Maybe we should run," Carlisle chuckled to me, ignoring him.  
"No, inside," he commanded, using a surprising amount of authority.  
"It's a shame it's Edward; I'm faster than Garrett," he continued, biting his lip to keep from laughing.  
"We could do it anyway?" I suggested.  
"I haven't tried running from him since I changed, maybe I'm faster now." He was teasing Bella's husband now and Edward knew it. Carlisle's eyes were alive with excitement.  
"You are not," Edward scoffed, laughing. "I would have you in three seconds."  
"But we'd already have a ten metre head start," he whispered softly so he couldn't hear. His fingers played with a piece of my hair. He thought for a moment and his smile grew more mischievous. "Ready?"  
"We're really doing this?" I giggled, unable to help myself.  
"Carlisle Cullen," Edward muttered, reading his thoughts and shaking his head. "That's disgusting."  
I suddenly wished I could read his mind.  
Instead of going red like I thought he would he burst out laughing and grabbed my hand, starting to run. "Run Esme run!" he yelled, barely able to speak through his giggles.  
When I failed to keep up with him, he picked me up and suddenly we were in the top of a tree, grinning like idiots. He held me so I was on his knee with his arms around my waist.  
"It's like we're in a snow globe," he murmured, looking up as the snowflakes fell. "And somebody shook us."  
"That's an odd thing to say," I smiled, remembering why I loved him so much.  
"Too weird?" he asked self-consciously.  
"Just the right amount of weird," I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck again.  
He smiled but it was shy and he hid behind his fringe, his face growing warm.  
I touched his cheek and made him look at me.  
"I love you," he whispered even though there was no one to hear us.  
"I love you too," I whispered back. When our lips met he lost his balance and almost slipped off the branch. "Carlisle Cullen, did you just swear?" I giggled, unable to help myself.  
"Maybe?" he giggled back.  
I pushed him lightly and immediately regretted it.  
He laughed nervously when he only just managed to catch us before we fell.  
"Sorry," I squeaked.  
He smiled at shook his head. "We could fall; I don't think it would hurt that much, the snow would be soft."  
I wondered if he was considering it. "Carlisle…" I warned, worried.  
"Don't worry, I won't do it," he chuckled. He rested his cheek on the top of my head.  
"Do you think they're going to be mad?" I asked, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.  
"Why does it matter?" he teased and then sighed. "I missed you."  
"I haven't gone anywhere," I told him, momentarily distracted by the warmth of him. It was nice, comforting.  
"No…but I miss being with you. I mean like we used to be when Edward left and we were by ourselves."  
"Oh." A silence covered us again.  
"Sometimes I wish we really could run away," he mumbled, more to himself than me.  
"What did we just do?" I chuckled.  
"No, really run away. Like far away."  
"You don't really want that, sweetie," I reminded him softly, knowing he wouldn't like to be away from our family for long.  
"Hmm," he looked away and I could see longing written all over his face.  
I squeezed him.  
He squeezed me back. "Not forever, just for a while," he murmured.  
"You actually want this?" I asked, surprised.  
"I don't know, maybe." He glanced at me before looking up again.  
I read what he really meant; _I want to go but i know it would hurt you_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay its finally up (: Sorry about the weight but we've had so many assignments and exams are soon (omg I'm going to die) and together they ate most of my time BUT ITS FINALLY DONE! YAY!  
I kind of think this chapter is somewhat awkward but I'd love to know what you think anyway (good or bad) (:**

Carlisle had me worried; he hadn't spoken to anyone much since our little talk. He had been very withdrawn and exceptionally quiet.  
Apparently I wasn't the only one noticing it.

"Are you okay?" Alistair asked for what seemed like the one millionth time.  
"Yes," Carlisle told him flatly. He fidgeted and squirmed next to me.  
"Are you sure?" Rosalie asked a few minutes later.  
"Nothing's changed in a few minutes, Rosalie," he replied sarcastically. His eyes were darker now, still blue but almost blue-black, a bit like the sky at night time. He folded his legs underneath him, pulling at the loose threads on his jeans.  
She sighed and took Emmett's hand.  
Tanya came in from hunting, pulling a face at the tense atmosphere in the longue. "What's happened?...Carlisle, are you alright?"  
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" he snapped. "I'm fine, okay? Just. Stop. Asking. It's getting really smothering and I can't take it anymore." He jumped up and tried to run up the stairs but Garrett unwillingly got in the way, not hearing what was happening.  
"What's wrong-"  
"Don't say it!" Carlisle yelled at him. Instead of going around him he jumped out the window and disappeared into the forest line.  
Garrett looked hurt. "What did I do?" he asked, looking at me.  
I forced a smile. "He's just overwhelmed; you didn't do anything."  
He bit the inside of his cheek and stared after him.  
I fought the urge to follow him, forcing myself to remain seated and ignore my concern.

A few hours later he came back a complete mess; his hair was untidy, his clothing askew and coated in odd bits of stick and leaves. His eyes were completely black now, darker than I had ever seen them. He smelt faintly of another vampire but I couldn't put a name to the scent. I noticed he was also covered in scratches and scraps.  
"Honey what happened to you?" I asked gently, going to him so I could put my arms around his waist.  
He didn't react the way he usually did; instead he was visibly uncomfortable, trying to pull away from my touch.  
"Carlisle?" I stroked the side of his face with my thumb.  
"W-what?" he stammered, glancing down at me.  
"What's going on?"  
"N-nothing, I just…fell..?" He sort of smiled but it came out nervous.  
"Are you hurt?" I pushed his hair off his face to reveal more scrapes.  
"N-no, not really…just scratched."  
I wasn't sure whether I believed him or not. Whatever it was, he didn't want to tell me.  
"How about we go upstairs for a bit, okay sweetie?" I carefully took his hand and coaxed him up the steps.  
He was more than unwilling, anxiously biting his lip.  
"Come here, love." I made him sit on the bed but he obviously didn't want to.

"Carlisle what's happening?" I smoothed his hair down and kissed his forehead before crouching in front of him to make him look at me.  
He looked completely miserable. "Heidi kissed me."  
"Whose Heidi- wait that doesn't explain why you're hurt." I stood up again so I could sit next to him but when I moved he flinched back, jumping away so I wasn't near him. He looked up at me with what I interpreted as fear. "Shh, it's alright, I'm not mad. Come back here." I spoke quietly and patted the bed next to me.  
He didn't move but carefully looked me up and down.  
I sighed and reached toward him.  
He jerked away from me when I raised my hand.  
Suddenly it clicked. "Sweetheart I'm not going to hit you, it's okay. I'm not mad, I'm just worried." I couldn't think of any possible reason why he would think I would try to hurt him and it stung that he thought that way.  
He relaxed a little bit but was still very cautious.  
I slowly slid over to him and this time he let me. Once I was close enough I hugged him tightly. "Why would you think that? I would never hurt you, love." I kissed the top of his head and he finally caved and lent into me, hugging me back.  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled against me.  
"For what? If she kissed you it's not your fault." I rubbed circled into his back. I noticed something else too. "You need to hunt more; you're losing too much weight."  
"Vampires can't starve themselves to death."  
"We don't know that," I chided.  
"Trust me, I tried," he murmured quietly.  
I frowned. "Why did you think I was going to hurt you?"  
He silently pleaded with me not to make him tell me. "…Because last time Heidi – volturi Heidi- tried that, Amanda- she- um…" he didn't seem to be able to fine the right words so he wriggled away from me and pulled up the edge of his shirt.

The first thought that ran through my mind was how hadn't I noticed before? The scar ran just under his ribcage and up his side, thick and deep. I was so shocked I couldn't look away or say anything.  
"Crap…" he ripped it down again, beginning to pace in front of me. He wiped his face and I realised he was on the brink of tears.  
I stood and stopped him, holding his face in my hands and kissing him as hard as he would let me.  
"W-what are you doing?" he asked.  
"Kissing you," I chuckled.  
"W-why?"  
"Because I love you." I pressed my lips against his again as if to prove my point.  
He gave a small smile, but it was sad.  
"I know you don't want to tell me, but I need to know. What happened today?"  
He fidgeted again, glancing down then back up at me. "H-Heidi kissed me…"  
I smiled. "Okay, but forget that. How did you get all scratched up?"  
"…Felix pushed me..?"

I saw red, ready to tear the other vampire to shreds. He may be bigger than me but he had just hurt my mate.  
"Esme you can't do anything, okay? It'll just make it worse. Anyway, it wasn't hard; it I wasn't uncoordinated I wouldn't have fallen at all," he pleaded with me. "Please? I-it was just a miss understanding; he thought that me and Heidi were- um…"  
I unclenched my jaw, forcing myself to calm down but still absolutely fuming.  
"Promise me Esme," he begged, holding me in one place.  
I sighed. "Okay, I won't."  
He still looked worried.  
"I promise, love."  
He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around my waist.  
"Heidi has done this before?" I asked, lightly touching his side.  
He made a face, suddenly tense again. "Yes…"  
"But it wasn't her that hurt you?"  
He shook his head. "A-Amanda." The way he said it made the name sound dirty, like it hurt to say it.  
"Why?" I realised I had stepped over some kind of line when he shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to pry. It doesn't matter."  
"N-no…It's okay, I guess. Amanda was my…girlfriend when I was a new-born and she had this weird ability where she could paralyse people and Heidi hated her so she kissed me one day when Amanda walked in…And she freaked out and, um, she got more, ah, violent than usual and um…cut me…" Toward the end he became extremely nervous, refusing to make eye contact and continuously squirming.

There was a moment why everything made sense; why he was so understanding of what Charles had done to me, why he got nervous when anyone brought up his past or absolutely anything to do with his previous relationships. Between her and his father it was no wonder he hated people touching him.

I squeezed him tightly, not letting go for a good length of time.  
"I would never hurt you," I told him, my voice going thick with a sudden need to cry.  
"I know," he smiled, lifting me off my feet and falling back onto the bed so I was on top of him. "I love you."  
His words rang in my head long after he said them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay so firstly I can't believe people are actually interested in this after all this time because it started off as this weird idea that I ran with because I was bored (which I suppose is most fanfiction?) and secondly thanks to everyone who is actually reading this, especially Ellie , your support means a lot (:**

The minute the doorbell rang Carlisle began fidgeting, leaning forward a bit so his hair fell over his face.  
"It's alright, love," I tried to assure him, reaching over and stilling his hands. "And you're hyperventilating, take a few deep breaths." I knotted my fingers in his, rubbing circles into the back of his hand, trying to sooth him at least a little bit. I could feel him trembling, his entire body tense with anticipation.  
"Carlisle, Siobhan's your friend, she's not going to do anything irrational," Edward whispered, touching his shoulder over the back of the couch.  
He froze completely when Tanya opened the door and started to greet the other coven. When they came inside he stood awkwardly, ready to bolt.  
I almost laughed when I saw Alistair block his escape root and Carlisle glare at him. He smiled teasingly at him, raising his eyebrows. "I don't have to be a mind reader to know what you're about to do," he quipped.

While he was distracted Siobhan had moved to stand directly in front of my husband. She hugged him the minute he turned around and I could see the panic on his face.  
"I've heard you've been sick, are you okay now?" she asked quietly, sounding very worried.  
His face became guarded.  
"Yes…" He tried to get away from her, looking over at me for help.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Can you let go please?" he begged her. I could see the panic attack before it started.  
She immediately did what he asked. "What's happening?" she asked again.  
"N-nothing, just…nothing." He shook his head, looking down.  
"Liar," Maggie announced, walking over to them.  
He seemed to want to shrink into himself as she got closer.  
"Liar, huh?" Siobhan mused, reaching over and pushing his hair off his face.  
He cautiously glanced up at her.  
She jumped back about a foot. "And what might be up with you?" Her tone told me he was considered a threat until he provided an explanation. "Human?"  
"I…um…" He watched her carefully, still trying to escape the room.  
"Carlisle answer me. I swear to god you had better explain yourself right now because if you're screwing up vampire genetics, Aro is not going to be happy and I don't want anything to do with it," she hissed at him.  
"You said she wouldn't be irrational and if this isn't irrational then I don't know what is," he accused Edward nervously.  
Siobhan sighed. "Okay fine. I'm sorry. But I want an explanation."  
"I don't have an explanation- I have no idea what happened it just did- we found something kind of similar in an old book but it didn't say- It just happened, okay?" He stammered and stuttered his way through the fragmented sentence.  
"Are you always this nervous?" she asked, teasing.  
"I- um, ah yes..?"  
She chuckled. "Yeah? Well it's cute."  
He immediately went bright red.  
I giggled and wrapped my arm around him.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tanya asked him once the other coven had gone home.  
"Yes it was," he mumbled. He was sitting next to me, hugging his legs and resting his head on top of his knees.  
"You just don't like being called-"  
"Do you have to?" he whined.  
She laughed and rolled her eyes. "And by the way, you look like a little kid sitting like that."  
He had no come back but he didn't move.  
After a while I found myself leaning on him a bit, trying to ignore a persistent headache.  
He slid his arms around me, moving so that I fit against him better.  
I gladly snuggled into him, letting him pull me closer so I was practically lying on him.  
He kissed the top of my head and let me rest my head on his shoulder.

I slowly opened my eyes. Even the dim lighting was too bright and made my eyes sting. I squeezed them shut again.  
Cool fingers gently brushed my hair off my face and I unintentionally lent into their touch, the coldness nice against my hot skin.  
By now my head was absolutely pounding; I don't think I'd ever had a head ache this bad.  
"Are you okay, my love?" Carlisle asked, keeping his hand against my cheek.  
I glanced up at him, only just realising that I was curled up on his lap.  
He smiled and ran his hand up my back. "Esme?"  
"Hmm?" I asked tiredly, rubbing my face as trying to wake up a bit. We were sitting on our bed and it was dark outside. "Did I go to sleep?"  
"Yes," he chuckled, kissing my forehead.  
"Why didn't you wake me up?" I complained, secretly wishing I was still asleep.  
"Because I couldn't bring myself to do it," he admitted shyly. "Are you feeling alright?"  
"My head hurts," I mumbled, cuddling into him again.  
"Do you want me to get you some pain relief?" He pressed his hand against my forehead.  
"No…" I tightened my grip around him, not wanting him to go.  
"Honey I'll come back, I'll only be gone a few minutes and if you need it then-"  
"I need you more," I murmured against him.  
He readjusted our position so that one of his hands was free and slid it into his pocket.  
"What are you doing?"  
He gave me a calculated look as if he was thinking it might be something he would get in trouble for. "Texting Tanya so I don't have to leave you but I can still make you feel better…"  
I smiled and pulled myself closer to him, loving him even more if it were possible.

A few minutes later she came in, handed me something which I quickly swallowed and shook her head teasingly at Carlisle.  
"Thank you," he murmured, glancing down at me.  
"I hate to admit this and you're going to hate hearing it, but you, Mr, are incredibly sweet," she told him, smiling.  
I could see him fighting to not blush again but it happened anyway. I giggled, unable to help myself. "At least I'm not the only one that thinks so."  
She opened her mouth to say something else but closed it again, changing her mind. She wished us goodnight before closing the door behind her.

I thought for a moment. "We could go away, if that's what you really wanted," I suggested quietly.  
He shifted uncomfortably and pulled at the edges of his long sleeves. "I wouldn't make you do that, love, forget about it. It was just a stupid suggestion in the spur of the moment. It doesn't matter." When he looked away I knew it was quite the opposite.  
"Carlisle I'm serious."  
"So am I," he told me quietly, briefly glancing down at me.  
"But if it's important to you-"  
"As long as I'm with you I'm happy; it doesn't matter." He kissed me lightly before pulling back. "But right now, you need to go to bed-"  
"Stop mothering me," I teased, laughing.  
"You're sick-"  
"I'll go if you come with me." I slowly got off him, not really wanting to, and crawled up the bed.  
He watched me without moving, seeming lost in thought.  
"Well?" I challenged, under the blanket.  
"Well what?" he asked, dazed when I pulled him out of his daydream.  
"Are you coming or am I sleeping alone?" I giggled, not really needing to ask.  
"What do you think?" he chuckled, sliding in and wrapping his arms around me again.


End file.
